Monday, December 6, 2010

Why am I still rooting for these Royals?

During the 1985 World Series, I was just barely six years old; a kindergartener living in central Iowa.  My dad was the one from Kansas City.  He watched the Series, cheering downstairs while I slept.  I didn't see a second of that World Series.   

As 98% of the people who would stumble across this site know, the Royals have not made the playoffs since that World Series win.  For a time, they were competitive but cursed to be in the same division as the performance-enhanced Oakland Athletics or a Twins team emboldened by Frank Viola's mustache.

That isn't to say that there weren't reasons to like the Royals after 1985.  While he may not have been the best all-around player in the game, one could easily have argued that the most popular player in the sport was a Royal through 1990.  Bo Jackson was an easy player for a young child to be impressed by.  He was on a Saturday morning cartoon, for Christ's sake.  Unless they start doing cartoons about overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder, there isn't about to be another Kansas City Royals star with a profile as large as Bo Jackson.  When I was in third and fourth grade and living in Rochester, Minnesota, we would go up to the Metrodome when the Royals came to town despite the fact that the family was in a brief period of semi-voluntary (my father's choice, not mine) poverty.

In the summer of 1990, we moved to Mulvane, Kansas, for the end of that baseball season and the duration of the next one, moving to Southeast Minnesota shortly thereafter.  Over the course of those two years, any doubt that I would continue on as a Royals fan was eradicated, as my freak baseball fan younger self devoured every Royals game I could.

I was 12 years old when we moved for the last time of my adolescence.  We moved to a town that only got stations from Wisconsin.  The internet was this thing that a friend or two had.  Without cable, box scores and shitty AP game capsules of any games that had concluded by press time were the only way to follow the out-of-market Royals.

Then came the strike.

And years of losing followed. 

Well, that doesn't actually summarize it very aptly.

One winning season since the strike.

Despite having that winning season in this past decade, the Royals still had the worst record in all of baseball.

Sure, I was a petulant and pretentious teen who deemed sports fandom as being below him.  I was lucky enough to have given myself a few years off from the misery of being a Royals fan.

But while one could argue that I'm still petulant and pretentious, I was too dumb to stay away from the Royals, and if that wasn't enough, something within me compelled me to take on the thankless task of writing an entire fucking blog about this awful fucking team.  I suppose I've been a glutton for many things, and punishment is apparently one of them.

Now that I can watch the Royals nearly every day, it causes more aggravation than anything else.  A brighter future is a carrot at the end of a three-year fucking stick.  Writing about this team makes you want to re-prioritize your life, and this past season left me sapped.  A move and the corresponding lack of MLB Extra Innings foisted a month-long Royalslessness upon me.  I needed it.

The Royals seem like they'll likely do very little of note this offseason.  That is, of course, unless they trade everyone's favorite Royal.  Then the entire 2011 season will be even more of a tiresome affair from the fans' standpoint, largely spent hoping that the handful of prospects who get called up don't suck.

Despite my existence as a Royals blogger being validated by the Rany Troll*, it becomes increasingly more difficult to justify both my Royals fandom and actually bothering to write about them at all.

*By the way, RT, I welcome your poorly punctuated, often barely intelligible comments, but anonymous commenting is no longer kosher here.  Crawl out from under the rock in your mother's basement and hurl your inane insults from the open like the rest of us.  

Oh, and learn how to read and write, you ignorant choadfucking toolbag.  Your unoriginal, run-of-the-mill trolling could at least make sense, fucktard.  For starters, it is 'bestiality' without the 'a,' you pederast.  Your comment 
Duggan you fuck, you. Prick.  
was five words.  Five.  Two of which were the same word.  Yet, amazingly you were unable to string those five words together to make any sense.  Did you drop out of school when you were six, you three-toothed, jug-playing, horse-fellating hayseed?  When you are done taking on that Pasadena mudslide that your father/brother is about to lay on you, log in with a username, and feel free to respond.

I'm going to try to stick it out.  Hopefully the future is as bright as the prospect experts say it is, but 2011 may try every last ounce of my patience.

Is anyone else feeling the same way?


Ray W said...

Yes it was the worst year for me as a fan to date. But it's the offseason now, a chance to be filled with worthless trash called hope once again, as we crane our necks to the sky and wait for the prospects.

Dave said...

"Unless they start doing cartoons about overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder, there isn't about to be another Kansas City Royals star with a profile as large as Bo Jackson".That is pretty damn funny. I agree with you in the sense of why be a fan? who needs the shit? Especially if you aren't geographically committed, I grew up in KC live in Wichita now so I am committed and I'm not- but I swear to God I cannot get these goobs out of my life. I actually have given up trying and just put a happy face on the listless play, the bad trades the whatever. I'm a "Royals fan" and unfortunately, I think that is for better or worse. Maybe some day the better will show up and yeah I still have '85 but come on; how long do we get to trot that one out? But whatever. I think in your case you want to hang on because maybe something deep inside you says if I give up then I'm more of a punk then they are, so I'll outlast the bastards. I kinda feel that way myself but I'm also kind of a romantic, there's a reason the season starts in spring. Thanks.